2017 has not been the best year, I’ll be honest. Even though some amazing things happened – the launch of The Navigatio, my trip to Disneyland, finishing Japanese classes, getting my TEFL certificate and having met lots of lovely people – I’m glad this year is coming to an end. 2017 has been incredibly busy. Doing a degree in your second language in a foreign country is tough. And third year is even tougher. Having to work 20-30 hours on the side to afford your bills because you’re a foreigner and you don’t get student support makes things almost impossible.
But I knew it’d be hard. I knew what I signed up for when I moved to England to follow this crazy dream of studying English & Creative Writing – and I love it. My degree is absolutely amazing and I enjoy it more than anything. The workload that third year has put onto me is very hard to carry, though. My mental health has suffered from rushing from work to university to my boyfriend’s house who had to go through ear surgery and back to my flat to sleep a short night in order to be back at work on time the next morning. My anxiety has never been this intense, even little things set it off nowadays. Not only my mental health has suffered, my physical health has gone downhill. In October and November I feinted six times. After a few bloodtests they found out that my iron and B9 levels were a bit low, but they said that stress could definitely play a bit part in this too.
That’s why I won’t be setting any “goals” for 2018. I achieved all my 2017 goals but at what cost. I like to see myself as a positive person and even in times of distress I often try to look on the positive things in my life, but I feel emotionally, physically and mentally drained. 2018 is hopefully going to be the year that will heal me a little.
I want to start focusing on myself more – set time apart to relax and cook a healthy meal instead of heating up some pasta and sprinkle some cheese over it. Get back in the habit of meditation and exercising more. I want to get rid of all the toxic feelings I’ve accumilated over the last twelve months and cleanse myself and my thoughts. Of course I want to keep working hard in university and graduate in July. I need to keep working my part time job in order to pay for my bills. I want to keep writing on here because I truly love writing articles for the little audience I’ve created over the last few months. But instead of giving 110% of myself in everything, I want to take a little percentage out of that and put it towards healing myself.
I’m excited for 2018. For the first time in months I feel positive about what’s coming and I’m not afraid of all the work that still needs to be done. I’m ready to take responsibility of my health and my life.
What are your goals for 2018?